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21-11-2005, 23:46
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חבר מתאריך: 08.03.04
הודעות: 2,513
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There once was a girl from Nantucket
whose pussy was big as a bucket
I put my dick in
and said with a grin
I'm gonna need a fence post to fuck it
A spiritual healer named Lee
Ducked into the alley to pee
He pissed in the eye
Of this blind homeless guy
Who screamed "Holy shit! I can see!
There was a young man from Lainus
Who emitted an odor quite heinous
As people passed by
Many started to cry
Turns out there’s a leak in his anus
They switched to the topic of sex,
which left them both quickly perplexed
'cause she was still virgin,
and and he stunk like sturgeon,
and both were as old as a t-rex.
A bloke by the name of Osama,
Was fucking a big hairy llama,
He then piped its head,
'til the poor beast was dead,
then asked for some oil to enbalm her
One evening I went for some beer
I drank much, had many a cheer
I woke up in a daze,
Couldn’t speak a straight phrase
And I smelled of southern-fried deer
My dear, good buddy has died
He ate too much food that was fried
He loved fish and chips
Fried chickens and dips
And for that his grave’s occupied
There once was a man named Sven
He toured all the lands, and then
He wrote of his tour
In a book called Bonjour
And traveled the lands once again
There once was a young man from Peru
Who always slept inside a canoe
While thinking of Venus
He pulled on his penis
and filled his canoe with goo
There was a young man from Darjeelin
who got on a train board for Ealing
it said on the door
don't come on the floor
so he carefully came on the ceiling
There was a man from Kubot
who lived off bogeys and snot
when he had none of these
he lived off the cheese
from the end of his dirty old cock
There once was a man from Racine
Who invented a loving machine
Both concave and convex
It could serve either sex
Entertaining itself in between
There was a young girl from Madrid
who swore that she'd never been rid
along came a halion
with balls like a stallion
and rid her like Billy the Kid
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all his cash in a bucket,
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantookit.
There once was a queer from Rangoon
who invited a lesbian up to his room
they did argue and fight
all thru the night
as to who would do what to whom
There once was a teacher named Gray
Who said to her students one day,
"Now, you have until one,
to get a limerick done."
The class groaned the hour away!
A nudist by the name of Roger Peet
Loved to dance in the snow and the sleet,
But one chilly December
He froze every member,
And retired to a monkish retreat.
A young man whose sight was myopic
Thought sex an incredible topic.
So poor were his eyes,
That despite its great size,
His penis appeared microscopic.
There was a young lady named Myrtle
Who had an affair with a turtle,
She had crabs, so the say,
In a year and a day,
Which proves that the turtle was fertile.
There was a young lady named Sharkey
Who had an affair with a darkey.
The result of her sins
Was quadruplets, not twins,
One white, and one black, and two khaki.
A love-sick young barn-owl in Kew
Had a pretty young she-owl in view.
He twittered, "I oughter
Endeavor to court 'er
But I don't have enough wit to woo!"
There was a young man who said, "Why
Can't I look in my ear with my eye?
I think that I might
If I stretch very tight
You never can tell 'til you try!"
There was a young girl from Mauritius,
Who said "that last shag was delicious" ....
"But next time you cum"
"Can u cum up me bum"
"Cos that scab on your knob is suspicious!"
There was a young fellow named Fisher
Who was fishing for fish in a fissure,
When a cod, with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.
A fellow who lived in New Guinea
Was known as a silly young ninny.
He utterly lacked
Good judgment and tacked,
For he told a plump girl she was skinny.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so big he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it
There once was a plumber from Leigh
Was plumbing a girl by the sea
Said the girl "Somebody's coming."
Said the plumber still plumbing
"If anyone's coming it's me!"
There once was a man from Beijing
Who invented a jack off machine
He put his prick in it
Done a thousand beats a minute
And turned his poor balls to cream
There once was a man from Bombay
Who fashioned a cunt outta clay
The heat from his prick
Turned it to brick
And scowered his foreskin away
There once was a man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
You must admit
She smelled like shit
Bug imagine the money he saved
There was a young vampire called Mable
Who's periods were very unstable
So every full moon
She took out a spoon
And drunk herself under the table
There once was a young man who...
laid an extraordinary long poo.
He let out a scream!
Can this be a dream?
That'll never flush down the loo
There was a young tart from Southend,
Who tried lesbian sex with her friend;
With a moan and a grunt,
She licked her mates cunt;
And loved the experience no end.
There once was a girl from Aboritzwith
Who used to take flour to the mill to bake crisps with,
But the miller's son Jack,
laid her flat on her back,
and united the organs they pissed with.
There was a young woman from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
Opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling
There was a young Lady called tart
Who felt she needed a fart
She stepped outside
And to her surprise
Blew over a horse and cart
There once was an artist named Saint,
Who swallowed some samples of paint.
All shades of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colourful lack of restraint
There once was a man named Kent
Whose dick was so long that it bent
To save himself trouble
He stuck it in double
But instead of coming, he went
There was a young woman from Crewe
Who said as the Bishop withdrew
The Vicar is slicker
and quicker and thicker
and 12 inches longer than you
There was a fishmonger called Babs,
Who sold cod, skate, place and dabs;
But she had sex with me,
And caught my VD;
And now she's a purveyor of crabs.
There was an old pervert from Notts,
Who loved licking young ladies botts;
Whilst rimming one tart,
She passed a wet fart;
And covered his face in brown spots.
To be real was Pinocchio's desire,
Of this dream he never did tier;
But he knew he was wood,
When he bashed on his pud;
And the poor little bugger caught fire.
There once was a man form Calcutta
who had a good fuck in a gutter
a copper walked by
got cum in his eye
and thought it was anchor best butter
_____________________________________
"They'll talk to ya and talk to ya and talk to ya about individual freedom. But they see a free individual, it's gonna scare 'em. "
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